Even though my writing here has gotten more and more sporadic, I still hold this place dear. It was my happy place, at times my therapy and a much needed safe space to share & receive friendship and support through some very important milestones. It has also been a frivolous collection of daily musings about everything under the sun (cooking, fitness, marriage, family dynamics, etc.) For a long time, this was a community and an ongoing conversation (which subsequently moved to social media) and I will always remember that fondly. 

When I started this blog, Natalie, now 16, was a growing young lady, providing much fodder and insight into parenting beyond the baby and early childhood years. Elle, now almost 11, was barely 2. And Anna Sofia was a very indeterminate "maybe" for me at the time.

Spoiler alert!: I caved. (ha ha ha)

Writing throughout that last pregnancy, the crazy postpartum period (figuratively and a fair share of it literally) and my "new normal" as a Mom of 3 was truly a lifesaver for me. A life long diarist, I'm a firm believer in the power of the written word to cast out demons and to maximize and alchemize life's gifts and treasures.

So, yeah, I don't write here much anymore but I love it all the same and will forever be grateful for the personal milestones, memories and transitions nestled comfortably here like little pregnant spiders in this big, funky web of technology we call the internet.

*I realized on this trip what it is about California that I love so much: it reminds me of an American version of Puerto Rico, my home country: colorful culture, fabulous food, the sea, lovely vegetation and mountains ... seriously, what's not to love?

...Spring Breaks, that is. That's right, this year we are observing TWO Spring Breaks. A first for us due to Natalie being in her new school. Naturally, this threw me for a loop. We squeezed in SO much this week. Too much, really. Not the least of which was a quick road trip to visit that cutie up there (my nephew, Benjamin) & his parents two states away. :) 

Next year, Spring Break will be declared a no-fly zone for sure (no business, no appointments, no closings and no legal paper-chasing, God willing). You live and you learn, right? 

That said, bring on Spring Break #2 which should prove much easier with not quite so much on the calendar and a self-sufficient, independent teen equipped with a driver's license and the freedom to use it.

I've posted everywhere it seems but this space seems most fitting. This is where I shared so many stories of our beloved Charlie Brown. He was constantly by our side through so many of lives changes. He knew when I was pregnant before I did, he got kicked in the chin a few times while he rested his big old block head on my burgeoning belly as his little sisters moved inside my belly, he stayed up and paced with me into the wee hours as I soothed newborns. He served as a walker to our shaky-stepped toddlers. He was a pillow, a living doll, a playmate, a companion, a Halloween accessory, a protector, a running buddy, a confidant...he was everything a pet should be and way, way more.

One of my favorite Charlie stories is of my friends' daughters who were petrified of dogs but somehow loved Charlie and how they once spent the night and the next day went home and told their mother "He's not a dog, he's a person." We always joked Charlie was a people. :) 

I'll share the text I sent my family before I made his passing "public."

Hi family: We made the difficult decision today to let Charlie Brown go. 
Thankfully, we were able to have someone come out to the house so that we could 
do it here. It was a beautiful service. Charlie passed peacefully, in our arms 
on a blanket outside in our yard in the fresh air and sunshine. He went very 
quickly and as sad as we are, I'm so happy and relieved for him. As you all 
know, his health had deteriorated greatly over the past 2 years. In addition to 
being diabetic and blind his mobility has recently become greatly impaired and 
he had begun to lose his facilities. Yet, in typical sweet Charlie fashion he 
was on his back, tail wagging asking for belly rubs as soon as the doorbell rang 
when the folks who helped him pass arrived. I often say Charlie was like an 
angel on earth and more often still I've compared him to the mythical, 
incredibly large & fiercely intelligent, loyal dog/creature, Barrabas, in Isabel 
Allende's The House of Spirits. I don't have to remind you of just how special 
he was to us and how integral a part of our family he was and always will be. 
Time will forever be marked B.C. and A.D. for us. Before Charlie and After [his 
timely] Death. Today most definitely marks the end of an era for The Beavers. 
Thank you for letting us share him with you all. Let's rejoice that he's "up 
there" on our side. I keep joking that he went to be with our father in heaven. 
Not God, Daddy Bob. Ha! Love you all. xo

And I'll use this space to say it one more time: Goodbye, old friend. There will be none other like you. xo

Yeah, definitely, that. 

We've got 3 kids in two schools all with very different schedules/activities and my head is more often than not spinning. It could be the age span of our girls (16, 10 and 7) but I think it's more likely that it's THREE, MY GOD, THREE. I often say it's like I have a funny sort of multiple personality disorder trying to keep up with all of these lives that I hold dearer than my own. It's like I have 3 extra heads sticking out of my neck and 3 extra hearts beating in my chest. Yet, at the same time, they're out there living and then coming back to the mothership reporting and requiring me to process all the details of their daily findings.

I sound like a lunatic, don't I? Wait. Don't answer that. heh

Anyway, life of late is full of meetings, dates (husband, kids, friends), volunteer shifts and appointments (therapy for my neck and shoulder twice weekly doesn't help this) and that's outside of my consulting work which I'm now doing on a regular basis (and LOVING SO SO MUCH but more on that later). Not to mention all the feels!, as the tumblr kids say, that go along with all of it.

I guess I didn't know that I would detect such an atmospheric shift at this particular juncture in our lives but I do, I really really do. These girls of ours, they're growing and stretching by leaps and bounds and so are we. Truly, the most notable part of it all is how palpable it feels. It's actually pretty freaking cool, don't get me wrong, but ... whew!... what a wild ride.

It's the Year of the Snake.

How very appropriate. You know how illustrations of snakes are nearly always very swirly and loopy? That's because snakes move along not in a straight line but in a series of undulations. They just go along in repeated wave-like motions, again and again, until they reach their destination...shedding old skin along the way.

I like the idea of a swirly, wavy, liberating year ahead. 

I'm also playing some music on the ukulele that Natalie gifted me for Christmas. My repertoire consists mostly of Adventure Time tunes (Oh Fionna, Adventure Time Theme, Daddy Why Did You Eat My Fries, Remember You...if you're a fan of the show, these will likely be AT faves of yours). They sure are fun to play. If I ever get any good, I might even let you listen. :) Other songs I enjoy playing on the uke are Elvis' Can't Help Falling In Love With You and Cold Play's Viva La Vida even though I got tired of that song in "real life," it's a fun and easy one to play that actually sounds like it's supposed to. heh

What are you listening to these days? 

First, and in no particular order, movies.

Anna Karenina, gorgeous movie, true to the novel and incredibly unique cinematic story telling. I loved it so much, I saw it in the theatre twice: once alone and once with Nat. Very nicely done. It should've gotten more Oscar nominations in my humble opinion.

Hyde Park on Hudson, a rainy day decision that I shant regret. It was a lovely little film. Very beautiful to watch. I am a lover of history though not necessarily at face value. I like to know about the personal side of things. If you liked The King's Speech (one of my favorites), you'll enjoy this story about FDR and the King's visit -- yes, that King  -- and his altogether strange yet weirdly delightful relationships with the women in his life. Gorgeous scenery, pretty music and a solid story. 

The Impossible, oh, man, what a great, great movie. I might even change my stance of watching it again in the theater (it made me physically ill, source: mirror touch synesthesia). I highly recommend this one. It's the story of one family's incredible experience of the tsunami in Thailand some years ago. Beautifully written, filmed, acted... it's just good. 

Mother, Netflix continues to be our Ambassador of Anything Asian + Horror. The tradition continues. Natalie and I love these films. This one was quite good. Not horror so much as suspense/thriller. 

Now, on to TV. Yes, Nino watches some TV, though it's almost always DVR'ed. I can't be a slave to the idiot box, as one of my big sisters' teacher used to so fondly call it. heh Again, in no particular order.

Downton Abbey, no link needed. A friend of mine recommended this UK drama series last year and it seemed as though at the same time Natalie and I caught up via Netflix so did the rest of the world. It's all the rage and for a reason: it's good. Little more than a period soap opera, D.A. is gorgeously written with breathtaking scenery, wardrobe and a delicious, cleverly told binary story line: working class/upper class...everyone has a story. Just great.

Workaholics, a big departure, who knew I'd fall in love with these badly behaved yet adorable buffoons? This show is freaking hilarious. I almost prefaced that last sentence with I'm sorry but... however, the truth is, I'm not sorry. We laugh so much with this show. Stupid funny yet clever and with heart and horribly, cleverly politically incorrect. I may one day look back and wonder why the hell I liked it but for now, I just do. Hilarious.

The Walking Dead, another great recommendation from the friend mentioned above, this is yet another show that we didn't watch when it began yet when we did catch up, seemingly everyone else did. Again, with good reason: it's a great show. Which, hello? Zombie show? Good? Yes, it is quite good. As a whole, it is a very engaging story and you just end up HAVING to know what happens next. We're chuffed for the next season to start. We love it. (And by "we," I mean Natalie. She's my TV watching buddy)

Tosh.O, our gateway drug to Workaholics -- that's how we started watching it, we kept seeing the beginning of episodes at the end of Tosh.O DVR recordings -- it's a very twisted, non-politically correct, raunchy version of America's Funniest Videos. I often have to cover my ears and/or eyes but yeah, I've gotten a larf or two from the exploitation of a bunch of morons who post videos on the Internet of all kinds of fails and inexplicably glib hijinks. 

I think that about sums it up. Besides, still catching and loving The Daily Show & The Colbert Report when I happen to remember to.

What are you watching these days? 

The Secret Garden, how I never read this as a child, I'll never know. Perhaps because English was my second language (my comical and tired excuse for nearly all of my shortcomings -- ha ha ha) but I didn't and wow, I loved it way more than I thought I would as an adult. It was just so magical without the use of magic. If there's such a term as magical reality, then that's what I would use to describe this book. (And no, I don't mean magical realism). It was just beautiful and tender and my only complaint is that it ended too abruptly for me. I just wanted it to go on forever. Le sigh.

43 Old Cemetery Road, a delightful children's book series. It has all the trappings of a great kids' book: it's quirky, funny, illustrative, curious, somewhat tragic yet uplifting... Elle (age 10) loves it and so we're both quite enjoying reading it. I'm now on Book 3. 

Playing Along, loved, loved, LOVED this book. Such a fun, engaging read. Like brain candy, I couldn't stop reading it and I laughed and gasped and sighed...and well, it's great. I highly recommend it. Check out that Kindle price too...um, HELLO, no brainer. Plus the author is a friend of a friend (didn't know this when I set out to read it) and she self-published, which you know, MY PEOPLE. Sweet lady and so clever. Can't wait until her next one. 

The Living Corpse, no it's not about zombies. I'm probably the only person you know who goes from children's lit to chick lit to Tolstoy but, well, that's just me. I love the guy and his wife, whose diaries I still haven't finished, by the way. They're my stand-by read anytime I'm between books or in the mood for some 19th century Russian high society gossip and marital turmoil. heh heh She's just my kind of brilliant crazy, that Sofia. What an interesting family. Anyway, I'm just starting this one and already I like it. As you might remember, I practically salivated over Anna Karenina and read it to the point of injury (I fell asleep on the huge hardcover and woke up with a massive bruise on my leg -- heh). I haven't yet finished War and Peace but I've read enough to know the "War" part is a snooze fest (to me) so I might continue it by just scanning those parts and sinking my teeth into the gorgeous "Peace" parts. :)

What are you reading?