Nine

Well looky there, as of April 6th, I've been writing in this space for 9 years. Writing publicly online 14. That's a long time, huh? 

Even though my writing here has gotten more and more sporadic, I still hold this place dear. It was my happy place, at times my therapy and a much needed safe space to share & receive friendship and support through some very important milestones. It has also been a frivolous collection of daily musings about everything under the sun (cooking, fitness, marriage, family dynamics, etc.) For a long time, this was a community and an ongoing conversation (which subsequently moved to social media) and I will always remember that fondly. 

When I started this blog, Natalie, now 16, was a growing young lady, providing much fodder and insight into parenting beyond the baby and early childhood years. Elle, now almost 11, was barely 2. And Anna Sofia was a very indeterminate "maybe" for me at the time.

Spoiler alert!: I caved. (ha ha ha)

Writing throughout that last pregnancy, the crazy postpartum period (figuratively and a fair share of it literally) and my "new normal" as a Mom of 3 was truly a lifesaver for me. A life long diarist, I'm a firm believer in the power of the written word to cast out demons and to maximize and alchemize life's gifts and treasures.

So, yeah, I don't write here much anymore but I love it all the same and will forever be grateful for the personal milestones, memories and transitions nestled comfortably here like little pregnant spiders in this big, funky web of technology we call the internet.

San Francisco: Art, Food & Nature

A couple of weeks ago, I took a gorgeous trip to visit a friend in San Francisco. No husbands (hers was away on a business trip, mine was at home), no kids (hers were on Spring Break and away with the grandparents, mine were at home) just us girls exploring her fabulous city and surroundings at our leisure. I was even able to work (by keeping Dallas time) which is such a different experience when you're not juggling kids and home. I loved it. All of it. She was an amazing hostess and NoCal is my jam*!

*I realized on this trip what it is about California that I love so much: it reminds me of an American version of Puerto Rico, my home country: colorful culture, fabulous food, the sea, lovely vegetation and mountains ... seriously, what's not to love?

Originally posted on my art blog.

one down, one to go...

...Spring Breaks, that is. That's right, this year we are observing TWO Spring Breaks. A first for us due to Natalie being in her new school. Naturally, this threw me for a loop. We squeezed in SO much this week. Too much, really. Not the least of which was a quick road trip to visit that cutie up there (my nephew, Benjamin) & his parents two states away. :) 

Next year, Spring Break will be declared a no-fly zone for sure (no business, no appointments, no closings and no legal paper-chasing, God willing). You live and you learn, right? 

That said, bring on Spring Break #2 which should prove much easier with not quite so much on the calendar and a self-sufficient, independent teen equipped with a driver's license and the freedom to use it.

Charlie Brown 2/27/99-2/23/13

I've posted everywhere it seems but this space seems most fitting. This is where I shared so many stories of our beloved Charlie Brown. He was constantly by our side through so many of lives changes. He knew when I was pregnant before I did, he got kicked in the chin a few times while he rested his big old block head on my burgeoning belly as his little sisters moved inside my belly, he stayed up and paced with me into the wee hours as I soothed newborns. He served as a walker to our shaky-stepped toddlers. He was a pillow, a living doll, a playmate, a companion, a Halloween accessory, a protector, a running buddy, a confidant...he was everything a pet should be and way, way more.

One of my favorite Charlie stories is of my friends' daughters who were petrified of dogs but somehow loved Charlie and how they once spent the night and the next day went home and told their mother "He's not a dog, he's a person." We always joked Charlie was a people. :) 

I'll share the text I sent my family before I made his passing "public."

Hi family: We made the difficult decision today to let Charlie Brown go. 
Thankfully, we were able to have someone come out to the house so that we could 
do it here. It was a beautiful service. Charlie passed peacefully, in our arms 
on a blanket outside in our yard in the fresh air and sunshine. He went very 
quickly and as sad as we are, I'm so happy and relieved for him. As you all 
know, his health had deteriorated greatly over the past 2 years. In addition to 
being diabetic and blind his mobility has recently become greatly impaired and 
he had begun to lose his facilities. Yet, in typical sweet Charlie fashion he 
was on his back, tail wagging asking for belly rubs as soon as the doorbell rang 
when the folks who helped him pass arrived. I often say Charlie was like an 
angel on earth and more often still I've compared him to the mythical, 
incredibly large & fiercely intelligent, loyal dog/creature, Barrabas, in Isabel 
Allende's The House of Spirits. I don't have to remind you of just how special 
he was to us and how integral a part of our family he was and always will be. 
Time will forever be marked B.C. and A.D. for us. Before Charlie and After [his 
timely] Death. Today most definitely marks the end of an era for The Beavers. 
Thank you for letting us share him with you all. Let's rejoice that he's "up 
there" on our side. I keep joking that he went to be with our father in heaven. 
Not God, Daddy Bob. Ha! Love you all. xo

And I'll use this space to say it one more time: Goodbye, old friend. There will be none other like you. xo

parenting

Oh, my! As we enter a new phase of our lives -- yes, it took me a full year and a half of Anna Sofia being in "real" school to fully embrace this -- I realize just how erred my thinking was when I thought life would be so much easier; smoother; more predictable; less.../more...something once we were out of the baby/early childhood years and all the kids were in school full time. To this, I now say: Ha! or really, maybe it's more like a ponderous Hmm...

Yeah, definitely, that. 

We've got 3 kids in two schools all with very different schedules/activities and my head is more often than not spinning. It could be the age span of our girls (16, 10 and 7) but I think it's more likely that it's THREE, MY GOD, THREE. I often say it's like I have a funny sort of multiple personality disorder trying to keep up with all of these lives that I hold dearer than my own. It's like I have 3 extra heads sticking out of my neck and 3 extra hearts beating in my chest. Yet, at the same time, they're out there living and then coming back to the mothership reporting and requiring me to process all the details of their daily findings.

I sound like a lunatic, don't I? Wait. Don't answer that. heh

Anyway, life of late is full of meetings, dates (husband, kids, friends), volunteer shifts and appointments (therapy for my neck and shoulder twice weekly doesn't help this) and that's outside of my consulting work which I'm now doing on a regular basis (and LOVING SO SO MUCH but more on that later). Not to mention all the feels!, as the tumblr kids say, that go along with all of it.

I guess I didn't know that I would detect such an atmospheric shift at this particular juncture in our lives but I do, I really really do. These girls of ours, they're growing and stretching by leaps and bounds and so are we. Truly, the most notable part of it all is how palpable it feels. It's actually pretty freaking cool, don't get me wrong, but ... whew!... what a wild ride.

slithering

It's the Year of the Snake.

How very appropriate. You know how illustrations of snakes are nearly always very swirly and loopy? That's because snakes move along not in a straight line but in a series of undulations. They just go along in repeated wave-like motions, again and again, until they reach their destination...shedding old skin along the way.

I like the idea of a swirly, wavy, liberating year ahead. 

Doing

...biofeedback for my neck & shoulder. I'm really, really liking it. The therapist basically hooks you up to the computer with electrodes all over your body and it can pick up all kinds of information and anomalies by testing for things such a body temperature, muscle tension, blood flow/circulation, breathing, etc. I'm still very, VERY uncomfortable on a daily basis from my accident a year ago. Physical therapy didn't help, in fact, it hurt. I'm not one to take meds, topical applications don't last and I can't very well walk around with a personal masseuse and heating pad all the live long day so we're trying this. I'm at the very start of my treatment. We've consulted, analyzed, discussed results and devised a plan. I've had about 2 (or 3?) actual sessions concentrating on breathing and learning how to untie this knot of a muscle from the inside out. Fingers crossed that my little brain rewires itself, my body follows suit and it all works itself out literally and figuratively.